Monday, August 9, 2010

He Knows the Secrets of My Heart

I woke up this morning feeling a tad bit angry, and I'm not really sure why. Normally I'm at my happiest in the mornings because that's why favorite time of day. It wasn't until I was alone in my room having my quiet time that I realized what was wrong. I have pushed God to the side, and have been trying to run my life without his help. I have been feeling very weary and lost and confused lately, and its because I have been trying to do everything on my own. I haven't been  happy with the way I look so I try to fix it with things like eating healthier and training for a half marathon. These have both been slightly unsuccessful because it was my way of fixing it without handing it over to God. These two things aren't bad goals, but I had the wrong motives behind them. Eating healthy and running a half marathon aren't going to fulfill me. Irv from Cool Runnings (one of the best movies ever) said it best, "Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without one, you'll never be enough with one." I need to find my joy and my worth in God alone. God knows the secrets of my heart (Psalm 44:21) and he knows that I'm weary and lonely and lost. He knows what I struggle with, but he also knows how to help me succeed. I need to make sure my relationship with God is my number one priority before my half marathon and healthy eating goals. Because if I trust in God and serve Him with all my heart, "he will give me the desires of my heart." (Psalm 37:4-5)

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." -Psalm 119:28
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73: 26
"Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." -Psalm 45:11
" whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." -Isaiah 46:3-4

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