Even though I have struggled with healthy eating habits since I came to college, this last summer and this semester have been the worst. I feel like I'm eating all the time. If I eat anything sweet I turn into this monster and I can't stop eating. A lot of people have days where they eat too much, but I feel like that every day. For some reason I have convinced myself that it is ok to eat like that everyday, but there are consequences. None of my clothes fit like they should anymore. Every time I look in the mirror my heart cries a little. Some days I get so fed up that I decide that tomorrow is a new day and I'm gonna start eating healthy. But then something happens that stresses me out or I have a bad day at work or I have a great day and want to celebrate. I always end up eating way too much. I have tried finding accountability partners so that we can encourage each other to be healthy, but it never works. It just feels like no one in my life right now understands what I'm going through. I tell them about it but they act like its no big deal.
I want to make a change in my life but I don't know how to be successful. I feel like I know how all the things I need to do to be healthy but its actually following through with them that is the problem. I think its mostly out of boredom, stress, and loneliness that I eat the way I do. But I don't want to end up 5 years later struggling with the same stuff or being even worse. I want to live my life right now to the fullest without fear of what people think of me. I want to be able to walk into a room with confidence and not worry if people are staring at me and the extra weight I have put on. I don't want to be known as the girl who is hungry all the time or the one always eating. When I picture myself, I see a healthy, fit person who is passionate about what they're doing in life and enjoying every day that God has given me. But that is not how I am right now. I'm the complete opposite.
I don't want to diet and stop eating sweets because that never works. Why would I want to completeley cut out all the wonderful tasting foods? I just want to be able to go to the kitchen, eat one or two cookies and then stop. I want to be able to eat a bowl of ice cream and then stop, not crave more and more sweets. I don't want to constantly be thinking about when I get to eat next. I want to stop living my life from meal to meal. That's not really living. I want to enjoy a good meal, but not have that be the highlight of my day. So I have decided to start keeping a blog food journal. This way I am more aware of what I am eating and how much of it. I know absolutely no people read this blog but I feel like this will help me stay accountable. I used to keep a food journal in just a notebook. But I would always forget to write it down, or I would feel so guilty about what I ate that I would not write it in there. With this though people can see if I didn't write down what I ate or they can encourage me with ways to eat better.
I have so many reasons to want to be healthy. I just have to want those things more than I want the food that is in the kitchen calling my name. So if you reading this, which I doubt anyone will, please help keep me accountable. Remind me of reasons to be healthy. Give me tips on how to eat healthier. Invite me to go exercise with you. Help me to live life to the fullest instead of living a life where I'm always full from my last meal.