Rejection

 I love reading blogs. Especially ones about healthy eating. Its kind of nerdy of me, but oh well. There is one that I read, whose writer I have a few things in common with. So the other day I realized that since she knows so much about healthy eating and I'm trying to find ways to be healthier, why not ask for her advice.
So in my efforts to live life more fully and to be healthier, I took a chance and emailed her for some healthy eating advice. After I sent the email I was super excited about her possibly emailing me back. So later that day when I checked my email I was happy to see I had a reply to my email. But her reply email was very disappointing. One sentence. That's it. It said something like, "Sorry I can't give personal advice, but thanks for reading the blog." Boo. Even though I don't know this lady, I was very hurt by her response. I suddenly got angry. Looking back I'm pretty sure I called her a turd. How sweet of me.
I'm not telling this story so that we can gang up on her and throw tomatoes at her. I just realized through this experience that I am not good with rejection. Even when its something as little as this was. It opened up my eyes to how I'm living my life with a fear of being rejected. When making new friends, when talking to boys, when trying new things, etc. I purposely do not put myself out there because I'm afraid people won't like what they see and throw it back at me. Even though its completely normal to not like being rejected, I shouldn't let it hold me back from trying new things or meeting new people. So when I emailed that lady, I was hoping to learn something. Well I did. Not what I thought I would, but at least its something. I need to stop being afraid that people aren't gonna like me. I need to live with confidence. I don't want to miss out on any more great experiences because I'm living in fear.

So I have already been a slacker with this food journal haha. Usually people don't slack off the first couple days of a plan, but I'm not most people.
Breakfast: A bowl of oatmeal with a little brown sugar and syrup, coffee (much needed), and a peach.
Lunch: PBJ sandwich, mix of cheerios and dried cranberries
Snack: itty bitty candy bar, granola bar
Already had my breakfast, but this is what I'm planning on eating for lunch and snack. I'm not sure yet what I'm gonna have for dinner and for my after dinner snack.

New beginnings

Even though I have struggled with healthy eating habits since I came to college, this last summer and this semester have been the worst. I feel like I'm eating all the time. If I eat anything sweet I turn into this monster and I can't stop eating. A lot of people have days where they eat too much, but I feel like that every day. For some reason I have convinced myself that it is ok to eat like that everyday, but there are consequences. None of my clothes fit like they should anymore. Every time I look in the mirror my heart cries a little. Some days I get so fed up that I decide that tomorrow is a  new day and I'm gonna start eating healthy. But then something happens that stresses me out or I have a bad day at work or I have a great day and want to celebrate. I always end up eating way too much. I have tried finding accountability partners so that we can encourage each other to be healthy, but it never works. It just feels like no one in my life right now understands what I'm going through. I tell them about it but they act like its no big deal.
I want to make a change in my life but I don't know how to be successful. I feel like I know how all the things I need to do to be healthy but its actually following through with them that is the problem. I think its mostly out of boredom, stress, and loneliness that I eat the way I do. But I don't want to end up 5 years later struggling with the same stuff or being even worse. I want to live my life right now to the fullest without fear of what people think of me. I want to be able to walk into a room with confidence and not worry if people are staring at me and the extra weight I have put on. I don't want to be known as the girl who is hungry all the time or the one always eating. When I picture myself, I see a healthy, fit person who is passionate about what they're doing in life and enjoying every day that God has given me. But that is not how I am right now. I'm the complete opposite.
 I don't want to diet and stop eating sweets because that never works. Why would I want to completeley cut out all the wonderful tasting foods? I just want to be able to go to the kitchen, eat one or two cookies and then stop. I want to be able to eat a bowl of ice cream and then stop, not crave more and more sweets. I don't want to constantly be thinking about when I get to eat next. I want to stop living my life from meal to meal. That's not really living. I want to enjoy a good meal, but not have that be the highlight of my day. So I have decided to start keeping a blog food journal. This way I am more aware of what I am eating and how much of it. I know absolutely no people read this blog but I feel like this will help me stay accountable. I used to keep a food journal in just a notebook. But I would always forget to write it down, or I would feel so guilty about what I ate that I would not write it in there. With this though people can see if I didn't write down what I ate or they can encourage me with ways to eat better.
I have so many reasons to want to be healthy. I just have to want those things more than I want the food that is in the kitchen calling my name. So if you reading this, which I doubt anyone will, please help keep me accountable. Remind me of reasons to be healthy. Give me tips on how to eat healthier. Invite me to go exercise with you. Help me to live life to the fullest instead of living a life where I'm always full from my last meal.

Family time in Lubbock

So last week my Mom, Dad and I made a quick trip to Lubbock to visit my brother, sister-in-law and goddaughter(dog). We woke up extremely early to fly out there only to find out our flight was cancelled so I got up at 3:30 in the morning for nothing. I had worked late the night before and only got 2.5 hours of sleep. Luckily there was plenty of coffee.

We caught a later flight and we were in Lubbock in no time. I barely had any time to sleep on the plane. We had to wait at the Lubbock airport till my brother could come pick us up. Sadly but not suprisingly, there is not much to do in the Lubbock airport. This was the main attraction.

The bad/good part about waking up so early is that you get to eat even more. I for some reason was hungry at 3:30 am so I ate breakfast. Then I had to snack on something when I had coffee at the airport (otherwise I get shaky from all the coffee). Then when we got to Lubbock I was hungry again. So I had my lunch at 10. And it was delicious. I had like 3 extra meals that day.

This is what I did while we waited.

 Eventually my brother came and got us. We spent our time in Lubbock by loving Starr, their dog and my goddaughter, playing the Wii, and eating a lot.

Funniest moments of the trip: Dad playing a hula hoop game on the Wii. My brother was on the floor and I was crying because we were laughing so hard. Starr seeing me eat M&Ms trying to get them out of my hand and then smelling my chocolatey breath and trying to find the source of the chocolate smell. Even Propp dogs love chocolate.

Dog lifeguard at your service

One of my little projects this summer was trying to teach my dog Parker how to swim. He always just sits on the top step of our pool and drinks the water. My other dog Gunter is quite capable of swimming and actually looks like a whale when he's in the water. So I thought it was about time that Parker stopped living his life in fear. It took a few days but finally I succeeded. All it took was for me to start swimming and he became worried and tried following me. Its really cute because he doesn't like getting his ears wet so he shakes his head as he is swimming and forgets he needs to keep paddling. Now that he is a little more confident, he likes to chase me like a piranha. It is a little terrifying. But I felt like a proud parent and was showing off his swimming skills to the rest of the family. The sad part is that now I can't swim laps in the pool without him following me, trying to bite me, and then me trying to get him back to the steps because he is still a little guppy in need of assistance.

Becky's Favorite Things

Whenever I like something, I like it a lot. I don't play games. So I decided to make a list of some of my favorite things (kinda like Oprah's favorite things, only way way better). I want the world to know about how wonderful these things really are and how much joy they bring to my life.

1. Coffee mugs-This may be ridiculous, but come on who doesn't love a good mug. Any time I go on vacation I try to buy a souvenir mug. Eventually I will run out of room and will have to stop buying them. This is a picture of some of my favorite ones.

2. Psych-This show is amazing. My family is addicted and we spend the majority of our free time watching it. I wish I had friends in real life like Shawn and Gus (main characters). The hilarious quotes from this show are endless.

3. Harry Potter-I can't tell you how many times I have read these books. They are just so good. I love the movies too, but the books are just simply wonderful in every way. I just went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and I'm not gonna lie, I almost cried from excitement when I walked through the first time. I'm rereading the seventh book right now in preparation for the last movie.

4. The guy in the All State insurance commercials- This one makes me look creepy, but I don't care. Every time I see him on the commercials, it just makes me smile. I feel safe just listening to him talk. I caught myself praying for him one time.

5. Whataburger-Their ketchup is to die for. I love ketchup in general, but this ketchup is far superior. They also have wonderful burgers and french fries. Whenever I eat here I feel like a tough cowgirl. I don't know why. Please don't judge me.

6. Texas Rangers- This is my team. I can't play baseball myself, but I love watching the Rangers. The Ballpark in Arlington is one of my favorite places ever.I want to get married there.  I got to go to one of the World Series games. One of the best days of my life.

7. How to Train Your Dragon- This is my favorite movie. I wish I had a pet dragon like Toothless that I could ride around on. The music in the movie is great also and I almost cried a couple times. I'm not ashamed to admit that I own a HTTYD poster and bedspread.

8. Dogs-I love dogs. Especially my dogs. If you let me I could talk for hours about them. The other day when I was in the pool, Parker was sitting partially under water on the steps. All of a sudden he had this look of surprise on his face and looked at his backside. I looked over and saw little bubbles coming off from behind him. He had farted in the pool and scared himself. It was hilarious.

I'm obsessed with a lot more things, but that's all the writing I can muster right now.

Summer boredom and sunrise runs

I know I haven't written in awhile, but since its summer I now have a lot of time on my hands. Maybe too much. I'm working at Target which takes up some of my time, but its not very exciting or enjoyable. Normally when I have free time I like to read books. Well this summer I have already read 11 books and I'm not done yet. I also have been watching a ton of episodes of Psych with my brother and mom. We are slightly addicted.
I thought that with all this time on my hands this summer that I would be able to get back in shape and start eating healthier. Well the beginning of my summer was filled with a family vacation, graduation, and wedding. I really struggled to workout consistently and eat healthy food. Once things settled down though, I realized I was wasting all my time planning my healthy eating and workout routine and then not actually carrying through with it. It left me feeling frustrated and I was ready to make some changes.
 I read a book called Made to Crave. It was a great book that helped me put into perspective how my healthy eating habits are not just bad for my health, but that its also not glorifying to God. So I started to write down what I ate, my workout, and how I thought I did that day. I also started praying throughout the day when I was struggling to wake up to go run or if I really wanted some ice cream (which in my house is an every night sorta snack). I had never taken this approach before and it seems to be really helping. I still am struggling with my late night snacking and my sugar addiction, but I think its getting better.
I was really struggling with my motivation to run, or for that matter get my butt off the couch and do anything but read or watch tv. I realized that I didn't like running at the park in the morning because there were too many people (mainly old couples, which is kinda cute to see). The other route I usually run was just getting old. So I decided to try getting up earlier so that I could beat the elderly crowd at the park. So a couple of days ago I woke up at 5:30 and went for a run at the classy Azle park. Suprisingly there were a couple of people there, but it was a lot better than usual. It was wonderful because I got to see the sunrise for the first time in awhile. It was totally worth it. So I think from now on, on running days I'm gonna wake up bright and early and go on sunrise run.